When a woman first starts getting into weight training, the gym is intimidating!
So much so, that a lot of women would rather continue to push off going to the gym than deal with the stress.
I asked a group of women to tell me their main reasons as to why they might be afraid to go work out alone. Here is my advice on the most common answers!
"I AM EMBARRASSED FOR PEOPLE TO SEE ME, BECAUSE I'M NOT IN GOOD SHAPE."
Even though this is one of the most popular excuses for not going to a gym, there really is not a solution for it other than to just love yourself, be strong, and stop worrying about what other people might think.
Here is the reality- Everyone at the gym has the same goal as you do. They are there to get in better shape. We are all human. Even the meat head slamming his weights in his douchy tank top has his own insecurities. People are not worried about you! They are not thinking about you or coming to the gym to make fun of people in lesser shape than themselves. We always assume that the world is watching us, when in reality, the world is equally as concerned that we are watching them. Stop worrying about what others might think about your current physique and give your body the workout it deserves. You will feel more confident leaving the gym after crushing that workout, I promise!
And for the 1% of the population that does judge people at the gym for not already being in shape, get over yourself and stop being a tool.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE EQUIPMENT."
I agree that there is nothing more embarrassing than when you get to the gym and start messing around with a machine and can't figure out how it works. Even if no one notices what you're doing, you still get embarrassed and even angry at times.
Solution:
Have your entire workout written down before you get to the gym.
Take screenshots of pictures of someone doing the workouts that you plan to do and look over them before hand. You need to already be familiar with how the workout is supposed to look before you step into the gym.
I am notorious for having 100 screenshots from some girl's Youtube video on my camera roll.
Side Note: If it is your first time visiting this gym and you aren't already familiar with basic gym equipment, just go and do some cardio. While you are there, walk around the gym and take notes on what equipment they do and don't have. That way next to you come in you will have a workout ready to go.
"I DON'T WHERE TO START OR WHAT WORKOUTS TO DO."
Solution:
The Internet! Pinterest, Youtube, and Instagram are my favorite sources for structuring workouts to target a specific muscle group. Here is how I might go about finding new ab workouts to try.
- Pinterest- In the search bar, type something like "Ab workouts" or "waist workouts." There will be 100s. Scroll through and find some that you like and screenshot them.
- Youtube- In the search bar, type something like "Ab workouts." Since Youtube is a little more complicated to navigate, I usually look at the number of views, and watch the videos that have the most views and pick/screenshot from there.
- Instagram- Go to "search," and select "tags." Most established fitness bloggers will hashtag what type of workout their post is focusing on. You can get very specific when you search hashtags. I might type "abworkouts," and see an overwhelming amount of videos pop up. So I might narrow it down and search, "obliqueworkout" (no spaces since we are searching hashtags). I like using Instagram to try new workouts because I can save the entire post, instead of taking tons of screenshots.
"I DON'T WANT TO GET BULKY."
Most girls that say this have a certain person in mind when they are thinking "I don't want to look like that." Trust me, that body building bad-ass that you are scared of looking like doesn't want to look like you either. She works her butt off every day to get those muscles. Muscle building does not happen over night, in fact, it is really hard and takes a ton of commitment! Nobody "accidentally" gets shredded.
The best part about lifting weights is that you get to build your body the way that YOU want it to look. Once you reach the goal-body you want, you just have to lift enough to maintain it. You will not get bulky unless you are trying to get bulky.
"I DON'T WANT TO LOOK UNFEMININE BECAUSE I'M LIFTING WEIGHTS."
Goodbye.
It's 2019 and women kick ass now, haven't you heard?
"I HATE WHEN GUYS HIT ON ME IN THE GYM."
HAHAHAHA. This is my ultimate pet peeve. Boys, do not flirt with a girl while she's working out. We did not come here to get a boyfriend, we came here to get skinny. Also, we are NEVER squatting for your enjoyment, so stop acting like a 5th grader and quit staring.
And whatever you do, never... AND I REPEAT, NEVER... come up to a girl at the gym and say something like "hey you should try this," or "you're doing this wrong, you should actually do it like this."
When you do that you will get one of two reactions:
1. The girl will hate you.2. The girl will hate you and now you have embarrassed her, so she is never coming to the gym or doing that particular ever workout again.
Trust me, we would rather continue doing the workout the wrong way than have you come point it out or critique us. If we want your help, we will ask! Plus, no one likes a show off.
"I CAN'T MOTIVATE MYSELF LIKE I CAN IN A GROUP CLASS."
Some people just prefer group exercise over working out alone, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! If group exercise is affordable and readily available for you, then why not stick with that instead of working out on your own. I always tell people, the best kind of workout for you, is whatever kind of workout you will actually stick to.
On the contrary, I do have advice for the other side of this argument. I personally prefer working out on my own rather than in group settings. A basic gym membership might cost me $20 a month, whereas a group fitness gym might cost me up to $300 a month. I am one of the most competitive people you'll ever meet. I motivate myself by competing with myself. You can do this by taking notes on your progress and setting goals for yourself.
For example, when I first started weight training, I could only do ONE pull-up. In fact, I HATED pull-ups. But one of my trouble areas is the fat around your bra line and pull-ups are great for targeting that area. I would do a couple pull-ups every day. A few weeks later, I was feeling stronger and went for 3! That was the first time I realized I had gotten stronger, and I felt so proud of myself. From there, I became hooked on beating my old records. Today, I can do 10 pull-ups in a row, and I actually enjoy them! Same type of scenario happened for me with how much I can squat and lift. Workouts that used to kick my butt are now relatively easy for me.
I enjoy the sport of pushing myself and crave that feeling of being proud of myself for accomplishing my personal fitness goals.
Approach working out like that, and it might give you the same high as competing in a group setting.
"MEATHEADS TAKING UP ALL THE EQUIPMENT, OR IMPATIENTLY WAITING ON ME."
Yep, this happens a lot. So here is how I handle it.
When the machine you need is taken
-If the guy/girl using it is constantly working and only resting a few seconds between reps
- Just wait patiently and hold your spot in line.
- Keep a pleasant look on your face so they don't think you are being rude. If you look friendly, the person will often notice you waiting and let you know how many more sets they have and maybe even speed up.
-If the guy/girl using it is spending more time looking at their phone, talking to friends, or just piddling around than actually using the machine
- ..Well then, you have my permission to be sassy.
- But first, I would try the kinder approach. Stand close by making it very obvious that you are waiting, but smile and look friendly.
- If they don't cut out their phone conversations and speed up their process, then you can start looking impatient.
- I sometimes will even ask how many sets they have left (especially if they are taking more than 15 minutes to do one set of squats). I ain't scared! If they are seriously planning on hogging the squat rack for 40 minutes, then I would rather find out now than waste my free time waiting.
When someone is waiting on YOU to finish up using a machine
- Even if they are looking rude and impatient, smile and say something like, "I just have a few more exercises left! If you want to go do something else while I finish up, I'll make sure everyone knows you are next in line!"
- 99% of the time when I say this, the person immediately feels like a douche bag for rushing me and starts apologizing.
- When people are waiting on you to finish on a machine, don't just let them stare at you and make you feel uncomfortable. Speak up and let them know how much you have left and usually they will give you your space.
- Also, if you are on a machine that is in high demand, do not text or check Instagram between every set! It's rude.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT I SHOULD BE USING."
Solution: If it doesn't challenge you, then it won't change you.
Whether your goal is to get lean or bulk up, this rule still applies. When you first start lifting weights, a good rule of thumb is to start with a weight that you think sounds good, and do a set of 10 reps. If you get to that 10th rep and the workout is super easy for you and you don't feel any discomfort in the muscles you're working, either go up in weight or go up in reps.
You have a choice:
- Go up in weights and spend less time on each exercise
- For example- doing 4 sets of 10 curls with 10 pound dumbbells
OR
- Keep the same amount of weight but increase your reps until it challenges you
- For example- doing 4 sets of 20 curls with 5 pound dumbbells
Do not be afraid of using heavy weights.
When I was a cheerleader in college, I was so scared of getting "bulky" because I have always naturally looked muscular. I remember one specific time when I actually started tearing up in morning cheer workouts because the trainer forced me to go up in weight. I didn't start lifting "heavy" (15lb dumbbells as opposed to 8lb) until I stopped cheering, and my arms are actually way smaller now and much more toned. If I would have listened to my trainer back then, I would have achieved the body I have now 4 years ago, and can only imagine what my progress would be today.
Learn from my mistake- challenge yourself or you won't see changes!
**Side note- This advice is for people with the goal of losing fat and toning up. If your goal is to grow a certain muscle, (for example- building a booty) then you will definitely need to lift heavier than this method would allow.
"WORRIED ABOUT GETTING EMBARRASSED WHEN I HAVE TO MODIFY SOMETHING IN A GROUP WORKOUT BECAUSE OF AN INJURY."
First of all, don't be embarrassed. Injury is something everyone understands and no one would judge you for. If you don't already, always tell your trainer/teacher before class starts about your injury so that they can go ahead and have something in mind as a variation for a move that might be risky for you.
Also, know your limits and choose workouts that fit them. I have a bum knee, I can still do most workouts, but for some reason anything that involves a lot of sideways jumps or steps hurts me. For that reason, I avoid step classes and workouts like P90x because they involve a lot of those types of movements.
